Well today I got my big check from the Gov. Yay thanks Uncle Sam. I had thought that with this money we would be going to get my engagement rings, but thats not happening. SW had even mentioned it. So when I got my check I was so excited I told him we would pay 600 on the car payment 200 on the rings (I would pay the other 60 when it got back from being sized) the rest we would pay on the phone and water... but he said no. We had to pay 800 on the car and the rest would pay the phone and water. So I wont be getting my ring so we proably wont be getting married anytime soon. I wont lie I wanted to cry. I was completely heart broken. I mean I guess it shouldnt be such a big deal, but I Really wanted this ring. Its the ring of my dreams and I love it so much. It shouldnt be a huge deal, but it is. I will get over it, I always do. But its not fair and life shouldnt always be so disappointing and hard. Sometimes things should just go right and things should work out nicely. I wanted to tell him how hurt I was b/c I dont think I ask for a whole bunch.. Even if I do I dont force him to get anything. This was all I wanted. All of my income tax money has always gone to what he wanted. Has always paid off his shit and bills and all sorts of bogus shit. This was all I really asked for or wanted. It wasnt a huge deal. He spends tons of money on stupid shit. I will never get my ring. I just want to cry. This was a huge deal to me. When a girls engaged the ring kind of is the glue. The type of ring I have shows hows much this guy cares about her. I know that sounds silly but its true. I have nothing to prove I am engaged. When I tell people I am engaged they always look at my hand and I have nothing there. I mine as well tell them I'm black for they would beable to believe that as much as they would be able to believe I'm engaged. Its so disappointing. Its not fair. Life shouldnt always be so disappointing. Its not like I dont want to pay ANY of the bills. And he could finish catching the car up when he sells his truck. But instead he is getting a 4wheeler. WTF do we need a GOD FOR SAKEN 4 wheeler for???? We can barely afford gas for the Damn Car! I wish I could tell him how I felt but it would just make us fight. I dont want him to think I am a baby or selfish... I am not trying to be selfish. Is it so wrong for me to want this so bad? He should want to get me this engagement ring. And I am angry with him over it which isnt fair to him I know, but I dont want to talk to him or rub him or anything. Because I feel like he is being inconsiderate. He isnt thinking of my feelings right now. I've been very paitent. I've stuck with him through alot. I do whatever he asks of me. Why cant I have this one thing. I wish there was a little angel on his shoulder that would whisper in his ear what a good deed this would be. That would tell him how much I deserve this. So I wouldnt have to. I know I wont, and no one will. I will never get the ring and I will have to get over it. Like I always do. He should want to do this for me and the fact that he doesnt just makes me mad. It makes me feel like he doesnt care. And maybe he doesnt. I guess I am done I am going to go watch tv so I can go to bed wake up tomrorow and go to stupid work so everyone can be all happy and married and I can be the dumb girl who got knocked up by a guy who WILL NEVER EVER MARRY HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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so we proably wont be getting married anytime soon. I wont lie I wanted to cry. I was completely heart broken. I mean I guess it shouldnt be such a big deal, but I Really wanted this ring. Its the ring of my dreams and I love it so much. It shouldnt be a huge deal, but it is. I will get over it, I always do. But its not fair and life shouldnt always be so disappointing and hard. Sometimes things should just go right and things should work out nicely. I wanted to tell him how hurt I was b/c I dont think I ask for a whole bunch.. Even if I do I dont force him to get anything. This was all I wanted. All of my income tax money has always gone to what he wanted. Has always paid off his shit and bills and all sorts of bogus shit. This was all I really asked for or wanted. It wasnt a huge deal. He spends tons of money on stupid shit. I will never get my ring. I just want to cry. This was a huge deal to me. When a girls engaged the ring kind of is the glue. The type of ring I have shows hows much this guy cares about her. I know that sounds silly but its true. I have nothing to prove I am engaged. When I tell people I am engaged they always look at my hand and I have nothing there. I mine as well tell them I'm black for they would beable to believe that as much as they would be able to believe I'm engaged. Its so disappointing. Its not fair. 
Life shouldnt always be so disappointing. Its not like I dont want to pay ANY of the bills. And he could finish catching the car up when he sells his truck. But instead he is getting a 4wheeler. WTF do we need a GOD FOR SAKEN 4 wheeler for???? We can barely afford gas for the Damn Car! I wish I could tell him how I felt but it would just make us fight. I dont want him to think I am a baby or selfish... I am not trying to be selfish. Is it so wrong for me to want this so bad? He should want to get me this engagement ring. And I am angry with him over it which isnt fair to him I know, but I dont want to talk to him or rub him or anything. Because I feel like he is being inconsiderate. He isnt thinking of my feelings right now. I've been very paitent. I've stuck with him through alot. I do whatever he asks of me. Why cant I have this one thing. I wish there was a little angel on his shoulder that would whisper in his ear what a good deed this would be. That would tell him how much I deserve this. So I wouldnt have to. I know I wont, and no one will. I will never get the ring and I will have to get over it. Like I always do. He should want to do this for me and the fact that he doesnt just makes me mad. It makes me feel like he doesnt care. And maybe he doesnt. I guess I am done I am going to go watch tv so I can go to bed wake up tomrorow and go to stupid work so everyone can be all happy and married and I can be the dumb girl who got knocked up by a guy who WILL NEVER EVER MARRY HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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