this life can be so great, but at times it can be so depressing. Everything gets so rough, and I cant believe that I have to keep going. You know the one thing that goes through my head atleast twice a day, I wish I would of listened to my mom. Kids think they know it all. I had a plan everything was going to be so easy so much better when I was all grown up, but nothing got easier. When things just come so easy to those who dont deserve it I just want to smash them in their mouths. (violent I know) I know that i Have it very good. better then some girls my age. I own my home steven and I have a pretty good relationship. And i have 2 great wonderful and charming kids. But I always want more. A better car a better house the kids to behave better. Sometimes I kind of pray for a disaster so that steven and I could start over. so that somebody might say look how hard those 2 have it, lets help them out and give them a great looking house. I know this shit really doesnt happen and I live in lala dopey land (you know where that is take a left right before never never land) I just want something easy. Like cleaning. I hate to clean it makes me miserable. So I cleaned the house the other day super super good. Steven still found a way to bitch about it. My feelings were so hurt, and i felt like Why TRY. Why even waste my time if he is still going to bitch at me about it. Some people have it so easy its like people WANT to take care of them... If I sit at home and dont work and have no income its like people love to throw money at you. GRRRR! but people who try (I admitt at times I could try harder) but I honestly do try people think well they are making it alittle at a time they will be fine. I know I dont have it horribly bad and some people will read this, and say I wish this gal would grow up and see how good she has it. I do know I have somethings really good. I just dont see why so many people just get handed the good life. I mean lindsay lohan is pretty but she is not a good actress and she cant sing a lick. Brittany spears has turned into a total crack whore and has so much money. It makes me sick. If they paid those people a little bit less and paid the honest working man a little bit more how much better would life be, how much easier would it be on you and me. Next time you're handing out money to your lazy kid who wont work or your husband who refuses to get a job think about all those people who do work or would work if there were jobs available and make there lazy asses go out and get a DAMN job or make them suffer. xoxox Tara